


memories

by sitetau



Category: SOMA (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25907503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sitetau/pseuds/sitetau
Summary: simon recollects what he's been through.frictional fan jam submission.
Kudos: 6





	memories

"you know what sucks about dying?", simon started.

he was on his last breaths of life, he was very aware of that. the last time the air would water his lungs. the last time he would touch with the tips of his fingers. the last time he would hear the obnoxious beeps fill his ears. 

though, he accepted this. he would find peace on the other side, find out what awaits after his black demise. it gave him some odd sense of cold comfort, he won't have to suffer any longer.

on the other hand, dark blue thoughts pulled at his neck. they crawled to his head and planted a feeling of unease. he realized that he would never see his family and friends again. he would never taste new foods or great coffee on a cozy morning again. he would never binge movies with friends and have long discussions about them again. he was so torn. he's going so young. it sucked.

it was supposed to be different. it was supposed to be another good summer. he should've been getting better and not knocking on death's door waiting for an answer.

it really was worthless. the sweet, honey-like hope left his organism as he breathed out. this is it. it's over.

sadness welled up in him but it couldn't escape, he didn't have the energy to let the tears go. so he simply shut his eyes. maybe darkness was all that he'll experience for the rest of time, or it could be some area of spiritual comfort, or discomfort.

a sad smile creeped to his face, remembering all the good times he had in this short run. from childhood knee scrapes to the recent crash which flipped over his life. 

no matter how awful, it was still a memory. 

he felt a wave of weakness flow over him, like he was going to fall asleep. the beeps got more distant, breathing lost its pace.

maybe it was time to go.

man, this life was crazy.

such a short time lived on this earth.

he hoped reincarnation was a thing.

but he didn't hope to be in a body of a robot one hundred years later under the depths of the ocean.

simon didn't realize how much time has passed since the failure of his transfer to the ark and catherine disappearing.

fucking hell.

hours have probably passed. maybe even a day. but simon wouldn't know, he lost grasp of the flow of time, it escaped his fingers. 

all was dark and quiet. only his very breathing keeping him company. 

the only way he could distract himself was to relive memories from toronto, to forget whatever happened here. 

but he couldn't forget. he couldn't forget the sheer panic after waking up in an unknown facility, thinking doctor munshi pulled some sort of sick prank. he couldn't ignore the fear that held his neck while hiding from the wau's disgusting creations. he couldn't forget the anger and disappointment after launching the ark. fucking catherine and her lies. 

after all he's done, it was worthless in the end. he felt jealous of other simon enjoying his vacation in digital heaven in space. 

it was supposed to be different. he was supposed to be living in peace for years to come, not be dying on this rotten planet in a place filled with creatures that are shitty excuses of living beings. he couldn't bare the thought of dying with them. fuck this.

he could try drowning himself. he didn't know if it would work, he doesn't even know how to take this thing off. and he was kind of a dead body already.

if only there was a button to drain his own battery served to him, like at omicron.

was there any fucking escape other than dreaming about the better days? when this shit wasn't happening?

frustration built up, he let out a loud groan and dropped his head to his hands. 

everything is fucked. 

he never wanted this. 

he wished he could cry to let out some pressure, but he couldn't. he was a god damned robot. 

he still had a hard time coping with that forsaken fact. fuck's sake, he was sure he had a human body back when he woke up. it was real fucking flesh, he felt it.

if he had a mouth, a definite frown would be on his quivering lips. if he had eyes, they'd be painted red with tears. he missed being human. things were fucking easier.

when he was human, he could properly express emotions. like the green dread he felt and tears he spilled when ashley passed away. the guilt-filled nights overthinking about the crash. it did feel horrible, but it was certianly better than all of this.

he felt like red in sea of blue in this place. he just seemingly popped into existence, lacking knowledge of time and space. so out of place. 

at least he met catherine, he'd probably be too afraid to exit upsilon if it wasn't for her. a sad smile creeped up, though he was incapable of making facial expressions, he just knew it was there. 

it was a relief that he wasn't alone. it was a nice time chatting with catherine, telling her what's on his mind. 

he'd miss telling her his indigo thoughts, like the time when they descended into the abyss. going off on tangents about this tangled situation he found himself in or when he'd ask about the ark, hoping that it would be heaven, far from this blue hell. he had hope. lots of it. 

"all that hope... wasted.", he repeated his hundred year old words to himself. 

broken chords of his voice begged her not to leave. his chest flooded with regret. 

he would die swimming in melancholy of past times and loud thoughts.

but he accepted his death.

just like he did in toronto.

just like he did at omicron.

but how would it go now that he was on the ark? there's so many possibilities. green grass smooth on his skin and warmth hugged him. 

remembering the hell he carried on his back from toronto to pathos-II, simon was happy. truly, yellowishly happy to be alive. 

this was incredible. it all felt so real. he was so glad that he made it.

he shaped a small smile on his face.

but he would never forget the path he had to take to end up here. walking barefoot through literal hell and being able to end up in heaven.

the horrific events under the fabrics of the ocean would become core memories to him, too far from being forgotten.

no matter how awful, they were still meaningful memories to simon.


End file.
